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13 de Octubre, 2006
Del Diario - Entrada #100413.1
Categorized under Del Diario , Español | Tags:
From the Del Diario Series, entry #100413.1.
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Don't think I ever realized how comfortably I spoke English until I tried to have conversation in another language. The simplest ideas seem to require parts of a language still esoteric and unknown to you. You are humbled in the face of others, constantly. It is an unanticipated challenge in that way. The same sort of fear that strikes at your naked heart in acting class. There you are, only you, your self and your voice. It's cower or leap, no handrail. Why did I take French in high school? Man, I only confused myself. Hasta la semana próxima and les wants to slip in there, damn you Mister Karabec, I have tongue twisters in two languages at once! Must wipe my brain of all French...and I'm most proud of being able to count in Korean, I guess. (Although not too far.) All those days in the dojang. "uno momento" is wrong! It's "un momento!" but uno momento still has a better rhythm. German was going to be my next language, but now it is Nahuatl. German can wait. I wonder once I have wrapped my mind around the conjugation system of the Romance languages via Español, if another will come easier. I wonder what system Nahuatl is based upon. So many people say Spanish is so easy, but while I'm learning as well as I can, I don't find it easy. But I'm sure I'm being impatient. I feel there is this "should," I should know it...the feeling has been with me my entire conscious life. I ought to recognize it so it doesn't pull strings from behind the door. I'm sure I also have a very high level of expectation for myself....I don't want to just get along, or pose preguntas about el baño; I want to be able to speak it fluently, freestyle in Spanish, joke and make poems in Spanish. Haha! Always the big dreamer. I see a long road ahead. That's okay. I'm down. I'm ready. As long as I have time, I have time. |
• add irregular verbos in the preterite tense just to shake things up when you felt almost overwhelmed, all fancy words to mean you are learning to talk about yesterday, bit by bit...but at least you start with Today, that's cool. I feel a bit of an anomoly in mi clase...having a natural ear and tongue for the sound of the language that was in my early home, but being just as new as the rest of my class in vocabulario y sustantivos and conjugaciónes...although 'Charles' and I are the only two left from the original group. We feel like the old timers. Have to do more practice, actual speaking during the week...this is challenging in a different way than guitar or piano or martial arts...there's less of an obvious handle to wrap your physical self around, it's mostly mental. And hard without the environment of other speakers. 
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kick it, ése.