I admit that my spirits have been woefully bashed and wounded during these recent times. I have felt no pride nor allegiance with what the masses have wanted—coming into sharp relief especially in 2000, and only growing since then—nor in what they seemed to believe. I still think that my vision for living and life does not fit into the Grand American Scheme. And that feeling began with me 22 years ago when I was but a young teen. This does not change that! But I do have hope that now, perhaps, we do not have to live in a blatantly tyrannical, surreal, despotic nation after all. Time will tell what happens specifically. And I'll be the first to tell you that I still plan on leaving this country in time. I just don't particularly agree with the US's overall methods, history, or growing control—and I do not want to be part of it. (Hello, Panama, Pinochet, Gulf of Tonkin, CIA in Mexico, etc etc etc etc). You better believe I will still be keeping an eye on what we do and calling it out when it fails my personal belief systems. I won't overlook abuses and corruption by the USA for the sake of sounding happy and unified. But now, perhaps I don't have to pick up and run. Now, perhaps, I don't have to seethe daily in the overwhelming abuses that I cannot escape hearing about even if I shun newspapers and news sources. Now, maybe, I can hope for some priority given to the poor, the environment...and our sanity. And yes—now I can cook my popcorn and watch the eye of karma swivel around and scrutinize these madmen who have eschewed care and consideration of their constituents and country.

Now, perhaps, we can hope for a future. The shadow of the US may be forced to retreat just a little from the face of the world. Or perhaps we can hope now that the US can begin to help.

And that is the biggest winner in yesterday's elections. Not Pelosi, not Lampson, not Ellison. Hope. Because without Hope, we can only sow darkness. Without the real Might of hope, we cling to fear, believing it a Power. Without the fortification of hope, we turn to violence to solve each and any problem, believing it our only strength. Without the compass of hope, we lose our way because we see only darkness. Without the imagination of Hope, we are trapped in terrible and tiny scenarios that leave us no way out.

You can see the effects our latest fear-based philosophies have brought to the world. More violence, more bombings, more nuclear weapons (or threats and aspirations toward same), more anger against the USA, more anger from the USA, more talk of wiping out populations, more populations believing we mean them. E.L. Doctorow, in The Unfeeling President, gave us the most dire consequence of Bush's Doctrines when he told us that as the most powerful nation on Earth, the USA provides a moral compass to the world. That was my greatest concern from the very first time I read the piece. They all reach for us, we have long been a summit to which nations aspire. (Bush seems to have cured this for the most part.) Which is really what disheartened me. Because I felt that meant the entire world was shallow and crass and violent and stupid in their desires, too—despite any claims to the contrary.

I say today, let us hope. And let this be a time of hope. Oh yes, I know how transient this feeling can and will be, on a national level. Damn. I mean I did live in NYC on 9/11 when all the ads in the huge papers turned to sorrowful expressions of solidarity and it felt the entire world would change forever into some caring, sincere body of loving humans. It fades. There are huge systems of corporatism and greed in place (and let's be honest: internal systems of inertia as well) that virtually guarantee a return to our normal states of heartless commerce and corruption and carelessness.

But I realize as I try to verbalize this that I specifically mean a personal sense of hope. Myself, I have been mired in the cast-off droppings and drippings of the BushMachine's hate, fear, and war for too long. And to tell you the truth, I began this change—reaching for hope—a week or so ago. It was this entry and thought process that woke me up again. So yesterday is a continuation. For me. (I am currently editing a multiple-day post on the energies of Hope and the machinations of inner Fear that will make this thought clearer).

Let us replace the never sated, never satiable, always poisonous fear of the Bush agenda with a new direction. With this hope. Let us use this energy to rejuvenate ourselves.

And good morning!