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7 de Febrero, 2007
Needed: Writer for Happy Hellbound Spammers
Categorized under Blogando , Humor | Tags: Spam
IN ALL HONESTY, I need the writing involved in my spams to remain amateur and full of broken English and fever-torqued praise. Because if they toned down those elements—if they hired a competent English-speaking writer—they would only make my life more hellish than it already is in those minutes I am scanning my junk comment folder for real comments. Without those elements, I might have to click open each comment to find out whether or not it was from a real person, or just more spam.
Some good frases:
• "It is the coolest site, keep so!"
• "Wow, can't forget this best design."
• "I want to thank your page, it good!"
Can you see these happy-ass, grateful and polite writers, hunched over stacks of Babelfish translators? You really have to commend them for the effort to get the message across. The enthusiasm is nice. In fact, I want to adopt some of the broken English and make it new slang. Yo, holmes, I hear you been pullin in mad feria! Keep so, vato. Keep so!
Well, dear spam commenters, my page want to thank you, too. But no es "good." Es "Waste of Time," not to mention what you put my poor brain through, envisioning—albeit as briefly as a brain can be commanded to work in a way it must—all your viagra-charged, depraved, spammy messaging that you violate my software with.
Anyway. At least I get a laugh out of this junk but YO, I'm just sayin: why the Junk comments gotta be BROWN? That ain't right.
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Comentarios (5)
brownfemipower dijo:
LOLOLOLOLOLOL--I love the spam that actually says, "Spam sucks so bad" haha, I'm like, then WHY ARE YOU SENDING IT M-F'ER?????????
I had to sit and go through over six hundred spam because a couple people on my site's stuff was being let through. They have some very interesting stuff they're selling, those spammers. I wish I was a drug addict some times, you know?
:)
Palabras por brownfemipower spat forth on el 7 de Febrero, 2007 at 01:43 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
yes...sifting through pages of disturbing pr0n trackbacks that weaken the moral fiber and disappoint the soul makes me wish i were on morphine. well. maybe that's not quite the same thing.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 7 de Febrero, 2007 at 01:53 PM
RickB dijo:
Do you get the ones that begin "I'm sorry about this", that makes me sad.
Palabras por RickB spat forth on el 7 de Febrero, 2007 at 02:38 PM
XP dijo:
The latest one that actually made it through the spam catcher was to do with penis enlargement and it was posted in my green card draft post. I just wonder if it was somebody who actually did it themselves to set up a trojan horse instead of some spam bot.
Palabras por XP spat forth on el 7 de Febrero, 2007 at 02:51 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
this is the one that makes me sad:
"I haven't gotten much done lately. What can I say? Pretty much not much notable going on recently.More or less nothing seems worth doing. I've just been letting everything wash over me lately. I just don't have anything to say lately. Shrug. I can't be bothered with anything lately."
DAMN son. go get drunk, or break your finger, or SOMETHIN. man. reading this makes me want to step on a woodstove with bare feet.
--
XP you sound about as um, "careful," as me.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 7 de Febrero, 2007 at 06:11 PM