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9 de Marzo, 2007
Bush Wins Over Latin American
Categorized under Latin America , When the Right is SO wrong | Tags: bush, Chavez
SAO PAULO, Brazil — President Bush set out on a mission to change the widespread perception that the U.S. is a violent and hegemonic nation and kicked off a six day tour of Latin America on Thursday. Street protests roared through the night in the neighborhoods surrounding his hotel. Bush's presence was intended to promote American-style unilateralism, fine linen, Big Orange Talcum, democracy, tranquilizers in tablet form, increased trade, and cooperation on alternative fart jokes. The president and his advisers also hoped his visit would offset the growing influence of leftist leaders, such as Venezuela's Hugo Chavez. From all reports, this was wildly successful in at least one person's case.
"I thought, for a while, you know, that I really admired Chavez for his attention to the poor, you know, the social progams and all," shouted Paolo da Silva over his friends' raucous and spirited "BUSH! BUSH! BUSH!" cheers, "but seeing the Decider up close really, I don't know, I guess it sort of offset those feelings...sort of replaced them with, ah, with an anxiety about terrorism, yeah. And an unresistable urge to hear tired patriotic slogans, and...overly-sexualized references to war and death...you know?"
This reporter knows. And so did the packed halls that received said Decider. Bush's clothes were practically torn from his ranch-hewn frame in every city in which he spoke. When asked about the rioting crowds, he quietly guffawed, his folksy shoulders dipping spasmodically.
"Did someone say somethin' about a pig? Heh heh heh."
[gust of wind]
[cough]
"Well, I am proud to be in a part of the world where people can demonstrate, where people can express their, ah, their Latino minds," he said, gesturing emphatically in an interview with Univision.
Later, he told CNN En Espanol: "The trip is to remind people that we do care about people who are not, ah, about those who aren't fortunate enough to be, um, well—White Americans. I mean, heh-heh, you can't judge us just on our response to Katrina! We are down with Tha Brown," Bush insisted, making a "devil horn" sign with his hand and scowling.
Chavez, aligned with Cuba's Fidel Castro and a fierce critic of Bush, is marking Bush's trip with a tour of large, wine-fed dogs who will be instructed to pee on every piece of architecture that Bush physically touches while traveling Latin America.
"I like how his head bubbled and smoked whenever he said the word "Freedum," said eight year old Naja Jonez, grinning broadly and making shapes in her hair with a cake icing tube.
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Comentarios (8)
kactus dijo:
Well I for one think there should be a universal consensus on fart jokes. Kind of an international standard. But that's just me.
Palabras por kactus spat forth on el 9 de Marzo, 2007 at 11:10 AM
Ill Do Chay dijo:
Is that brimstone I smell?
Palabras por Ill Do Chay spat forth on el 9 de Marzo, 2007 at 11:39 AM
Ill Do Chay dijo:
BTW & OT, State Security is rounding up more "illegal people", now in Arizona.
http://www.breitbart.com/news/2007/03/09/D8NOR4K80.html
Palabras por Ill Do Chay spat forth on el 9 de Marzo, 2007 at 11:44 AM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
man i can't even keep up posting on those raids anymore. it's a fulltime deportation project. guess someone got real spooked by those May Day marches and the census numbers. time to stick the Brown™ downtown behind the barrier.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 9 de Marzo, 2007 at 12:43 PM
RickB dijo:
I am in awe of the Brazillian Bush protesters, FORA BUSH!
Palabras por RickB spat forth on el 9 de Marzo, 2007 at 08:00 PM
rikyrah dijo:
Hi Nezua,
Checked out your blog from the link over at Skeptical Brotha. You have some good stuff here.
Cheering all the protest crowds for Bush. Like this was a coincidence...he wanted to be out of town when Scooter's verdict came in. Like he remembered there actually was a South America...uh huh.
Palabras por rikyrah spat forth on el 10 de Marzo, 2007 at 09:50 PM
L.G. Fucktard dijo:
Dubya really puts the "dum" in "freedum". The world is powerless to resist.
Palabras por L.G. Fucktard spat forth on el 10 de Marzo, 2007 at 11:17 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
hola rikyrah, good to see ya!
yeah...so true. bush is good at that type of sly shit.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 11 de Marzo, 2007 at 07:25 PM