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26 de Mayo, 2007
¿Donde Va?
Categorized under Chronicles of Nezua | Tags: Change, Hope, My Life
IT'S A GOOD TEN MINUTES I sit and watch the planks of wood that are my fence warm with the rising of the sun. The green mustard tufts of treetop recede to the towering fold of hill on the horizon—its a horizon lapping just at the edge of town, like a slow, heavy tsunami.
These are my favorite moments. The sun, like a luminant Daddy Longlegs, walks the horizon behind me and gently, quietly, everything becomes golden.
Suddenly I wonder what I have left to say. I am no longer plagued by many urges regarding the online discourse, and I realize that my last big post, The True Front of Progressivism wasn't so much a gauntlet as a Goodbye. It wasn't so much a question as an answer. And it wasn't for the Mainstream Liberal Blogosphere. It was for me.
I shouldn't say "my fence." It's not "my" fence. It's a fence. It's the fence around this yard. It's not "my" yard, either. I did dig a garden in it, two gardens. Dug up the soil, broke the roots, removed the stones, the garbage dug up, smashed the cinders to dust, raked it smooth. I did put some plants in the ground, but they were not mine, either. Nor are they. I do water them daily, but I do not make them grow. I mow the grass every time it needs it, but it is not my grass. Nor is the mower. I filled the new eight foot swimming pool with water, and I pull the bugs out, but it is not my pool. And all last summer I cleaned and filled and maintained the smaller pool, but that was not mine, either. Nothing in this yard is mine, nor is the yard mine. I spend a good amount of time there, though. Some of my best moments of sun in 2006 have been in this yard.
I used to own a car. I used to love my car. Black tinted windows, five speed stick. Sun roof, sport package, kickers in the rear, and until that first slide into someone's bumper on a wintry New York night, she was in real fine shape.
I left that car in the backwoods, next door to a friend's house in 1998. When I moved to Manhattan, I just left it. Tore out my stereo and walked away. Never drove it since. Sometimes I really miss driving. It was different when I lived in New York. Who needs a car in The City? Who can afford it.
What I miss about it is being able to leave. To slide behind that wheel, turn the key, turn up the music, and roll. Slide into the night, shift into a figure eight over the highway ramps, palm that wheel and glide through a subwoofer spotlit purple...skate over 84 like houdini's last well-oiled dream.
It's the street that becomes magical when you drive. When you walk, it climbs by, crawls by, ticks on by. Pretends it doesn't remember you or even a moment from mint-sky summers doing 70 around a bend way back when. A thirsty pedestrian now, I'm in step with tumbling paper cups and tin-foil ghosts of gum packages.
Sometimes there's a car in the driveway, sometimes there's not. The doors are usually locked.
"Greet the dawn with a breath of fire" were the words, or something like that...in Harold and Maude. So true. Too many Chair Shape Lessons for the body and parts begin to sleep, a long arc, steep.
So. First thing in the morning. Before the chair. Or now. Stretch out the frame. Stretch out the envelope, bend the joints, flex the muscles. Hear the bones grumble and clap. Stand in Horse stance, low, low, low. Slowly stretch out the neck. Roll the shoulders. Reach so far. Feel that blood flow, feel it feed all parts, feel the body remember, the lungs open up.
Now. Ready to drive.
I'm not sure how things will play out here. While mi novia, my wife has landed work and is getting more hours gradually and I continue to earn my sporadic web graphics/etc income, we remain, still, in the situation we began in since first coming to the West coast ten months ago, or so. Staying with her family.
But now it seems her family are now investing in some sort of house-buying situation (cash ala "brother-in-law's" parents) wherein Herm, Luna and I do not have a place. ...Nor want one.
So we may be on our last month of grace in this chapter.
Finding work in Oregon was much harder than we thought. Having busted ass in NYC in the most spectacular and against-the-odds sort of way, we assumed we would do likewise here. After all, NYC is one of the toughest job and real estate markets, both, that you can parry wit'. So. We were wrong. It's taken amost a year for one of us to find at least steady part time work. We actually thought it was finally the light at the end of the tunnel. Now we could save up and get out. You may remember me posting on it. The light was not the end of the tunnel, though, but rather a laughing bat carrying a huge lantern.
It will prove an interesting challenge. There is no more East Coast...there is really nowhere else to turn to. It's strange. I say to myself Wasn't I just signing books for kids in a well-known Manhattan bookstore? Wasn't I just signing books at the Javits Center? Weren't our distributors personally gushing over me, did they not call me into their meeting? Didn't the other vendors actually wait around at the booth to see "the artist" show up? And didn't I get so swept up in the marketing of my little book that I thought I had been taken beyond the reach of my usual threadbare fortunes? All signs pointed to success, though. My publishers seemed to be dreaming big, and I knew I could back it up. And so we married, and decided to have Luna. Those were the last days of Postcard Town.
Well. You know the rest. My publishing company bankrupted themselves, left me (not that i'm alone in this) in an unplanned lurch (and has breached contract as well, since)...and me and my old lady, and our new little girl, had nowhere to go. We were offered a place to stay here until we got on our feet, and we took it. And moved across the country. We've had a lot of time, I can't knock that. I thought we'd be out sooner.
That damn bat with his lantern. He keeps catching up to me when I think I've found daylight.
The drama of my life. Here I am, on one hand, a novel mid-edit that if I can put some good time into, may be the ticket to jumpstarting my (paying) career. I am even lucky enough to have a person at a (well known) talent agency waiting on it whenever I finish. But when can I get back to it? My day is broken up by a child and the need to make other monies and there is no time or energy left for a book. My head is so out of that world. It dances on the edge of my vision...you haven't finished....you'll never know if it could be amazing....your work is waiting for you...
And up looms the road, again.
Friedrich will letcha know this ain't gonna kill us. But as I said, it will be interesting. We've applied for all the usual assistance. And we are saving all we can. It's not much...we seem to go through it quickly. There's plenty of reason to be nervous. But then again, there's plenty of reason to be hopeful. Just have to keep the mind open, the eyes open, the heart open. So we recognize when the next step appears. Can't focus on fear.
Focus on change, the opportunity of change. The tumult that may lie ahead could shake things up enough to settle. I have not yet settled, in the last almost year of being out here. I still do not feel home.
Just had a bite of a hot slice of chorizo, a fried disc of pan-blacked meat. It's not common...I was raised vegetarian, for a while strictly, too. To this day I don't eat much meat. And only from a farm. But chorizo is cool...a piece of tasty cultura. Like my Guadalupe icon. Yeah, I know the politics, as well as the esoteric anti-logic of her place in Mexican culture, as well as the religious meaning...but to me it's just about untouched days of youth. Just one thing I actually remember from my family-that-would-never-be. La Virgen de Guadalupe's calm smile and benevolent gaze...I felt it even as a child, could absorb her soothing energy even as her image lay lacquered against the wood plaque.
Now grown to a man in a world of broken and bleeding icons, nothing means anything anymore, and everyone is fast to let you know. But the heart of a child holds vast universes, and unending sunsets and drowning rains and deserts that bloom hot and wild and kind and gentle spirits and guardian angels, too, if we so choose.
I have a number of posts that I want to put out there. Some are additions to favorite categories here. Some are unrelated. But lately I sit at the list of them and do not feel inspired. Nor do I feel so inspired to read or track the news. I'm sure it's a phase. Like the moon. After all, I am not done writing here. But I think we have just moved around a bend. Or over a peak. Or into a valley.
Yes, maybe it's a valley. With sweet, liquid shadows, and sparkles of firefly light. With tiny gold windows in a dusky sea of violet and a crescent moon overhead. Where a thin path leads forward, further into the woods, but then up, sharply up, to rise again. The road that has no end.
Born in the heart of Aztlán, and soon stripped of all credentials, made to mock the shape of a trap traveling North and East and South of this embordered idea known as American Ideal and still making my way home to the mestizaje endzone, one that can only be found in hand, and in remembering that the well-creased plan is still a borderland.
I remain, split and double-fit, and dancing all about it. I'm still there, at sunrise. I'm still here, at dusk.
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Comentarios (44)
Kai dijo:
Beautifully expressed, Nezua. I feel you, 'mano, I think I recognize that place; and that bat whose intoxicating hopes and dreams flutter all around in that strange lantern-light; and that warming sunrise; and that poignant dusk.
Palabras por Kai spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 11:03 AM
Tito Quintana dijo:
continued success to you. you are an ispiration to many of us aspiring poets and chavalitos traviesos y mocosos con suenos de la vida preferida.
Palabras por Tito Quintana spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 11:11 AM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
thank you, kai. you are there...
--
Tito, mi familia, gracias mil para todas tus palabras. yeah...that's me still...sueños de la vida preferida.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 11:28 AM
RC dijo:
You've had some bad breaks, but you are a long way from broken. You have the alternative universe to escape into whenever you wish that is your blog and your readers. You've had recent success, the book contract, but it was stolen by that devil, chance. Perhaps you will soon have a very small amount of cash to go to the airport with the familia, get on the jet and when you get off in the new place {you will only have enough money to leave, you cannot return} all will be different.
It's important to decide upon the right destination and then the rest is much easier.
Palabras por RC spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 11:57 AM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
interesting.
well, it's true that absolutely anything could happen. and i hope i never gave the impression that i felt broken. for you are right, i am not. and i do like your last line a lot. although sometimes, the focus feels right resting not on the destination, but just in the way my legs are pumping the pedals. it all depends on the day...and the hill.
a small correction, if you don't mind: the alternate universe is not actually my blog, but my imagination. yes, i do go there often. and i will continue to, even on those days i leave the blog behind. and i sure am glad for that alternate universe, oh yes. that is where dreams live. and hope.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 12:10 PM
Sylvia dijo:
'Mano, whether you take the opportunities on your table or carve yourself a new, swankier table, you're gonna round your corners and cross your mountains. I'm not sure if that's encouraging or foreboding, but either way I know you're gonna kick through.
Palabras por Sylvia spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 12:54 PM
Tom dijo:
Beautiful. Just to pick one, the Sun like a daddy long legs. It's as if one of the pictures from your book were flashing its toothy grin at me in real life.
Nezua, your own voice is incredible, but I hope you also know how much you've done to inspire others to raise our voices. If you turn your attention to other important things for a while, I know my reaction would be to just work harder out there in blogland. I'm sure many others feel the same.
Palabras por Tom spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 12:59 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
i like that idea, tom. thanks for that thought.
--
gracias, sylvia.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 01:05 PM
Tom dijo:
(Er ... of course, for me personally my "voice" may not be such a big contribution! But I'm getting involved locally, because of blogs I've read in the last two weeks.)
Palabras por Tom spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 01:58 PM
RC dijo:
yes, the mind universe is a lovely alternative, and when so much of one's work is writing, the extension to the blog is only natural.
Twenty Eight years ago I was in a similar tunnel. I did get on the one way jet with the familia and never looked back. But I have seldom made my living by writing. I left the film world in 1973 and entered the construction world and in 1979 got on the jet.
I think that if I were a writer/artist/site designer now, and able to obtain a living wage by operating my business from anywhere on the planet reachable by satellite and offering freedom from government or societal persecution, I would decide which was the most interesting and affordable and comfortable location, buy those tickets and get on with it.
Palabras por RC spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 02:09 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
i appreciate that life experience and those thoughts at the end, RC. something to think on. in fact, it's a damn good idea, and i think i'm in agreement.
now....if i only had enough cash for those tickets. and the shelter once i get there. right now i'm going to have to work on something just a touch more local. and i dont even know yet how that is going to happen. but i like your idea....i sure do. i'm holding on to that one.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 02:14 PM
lovelesscynic dijo:
good luck with everything.
Palabras por lovelesscynic spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 04:42 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
thank you, my friend.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 09:21 PM
Clinton Fein dijo:
Damn Nez, I know that addiction is dangerous, and checking into your world has become just that for me. I'm not known for being soppy, but at the expense of my harsh brand, can't help but respond with effusiveness.
The essence of your remarkable, creative and unique way of expressing yourself, as I have said before, transcends a particular publishing mechanism.
Maybe the goodbye is permanent, maybe you'll reemerge if and when occasion causes you to return to this well-tended, organic space you have created with such passion, or maybe you'll return in a completely different format. I am sure I am not the only one who will genuinely miss your prolific input that has added a dazzling and refreshing ingredient to my world view.
Your honesty is humbling, your mind remarkable and your output thought-provoking. I wish you and your family all the success, health and happiness life has to offer, and even though I don't know you very well or for very long, am confident that you have what it takes to realize the things you want happen.
Finally I want to thank you for everything you have put out into this universe that has made it a richer, smarter and more beautiful experience for those who have had the good fortune to encounter you.
Palabras por Clinton Fein spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 09:29 PM
soyinkafan dijo:
We need another Writers Project in America. I'd petition to put you on it. Orwell once wrote a plaintive essay about buying books, how if everyone would just spend a bit more on them, writers could survive economically. Nothing changes.
Have you ever tried Idealist.org? Got a job I loved there (not that it paid a living wage, but some do!).
I wish you well. If this is the last of your posts, I'm going to miss you.
Palabras por soyinkafan spat forth on el 26 de Mayo, 2007 at 10:02 PM
Jena dijo:
Just how deep does this existential crisis go, bc if you have enough to get to Costa Rica I know someone there who could help you find a place to live, and you could live like a king with affordable good national health care, but you'd have to accept reverting to dial up.
If you're really hankering for la ultima vida, puro energia, paz, a good environment that nurtures you as an artist and an intellectual,I don't think you'll ever reach that destination in the America that is now. That goes for me too, unless we just let our souls callous over, but then who would we be?
Adelante fiercely and tenderly amigo mio. You know I support and admire you regardless :)
Palabras por Jena spat forth on el 27 de Mayo, 2007 at 07:26 AM
NLinStPaul dijo:
Damnit, this is one of those moments when my commitment to the personal growth of others smacks headlong into my own selfishness. So I'm caught between saying "Do what you need to do for yourself" and "Get busy writing right here, cause I want you to."
I know that your post about "The True Front of Progressivism" was powerful and got alot of response - well deserved. But Imperative and Let's Have Nexus (to name just a couple more recent posts) have been absolutely brilliant and had a profound effect on me.
So, of course, I'm hoping for more. But ultimately I do wish the best for you and your family.
Palabras por NLinStPaul spat forth on el 27 de Mayo, 2007 at 08:04 AM
Changeseeker dijo:
It was weird to read this, almost scary because I relate to it so much. I'm in a very similar space myself. A space I didn't expect. I have three months of income and then, nothing as yet. I quit my day job nearly three years ago, sure I was supposed to write, which I did. But the first book hasn't even found a publisher. And though I have several projects going, a couple of which have people waiting, my momentum is down, and two semesters of beating my brains out in full-time academe (a space I didn't even know existed for me) has virtually de-railed my focused writer's agenda. Not to mention that while I'm trusting the process (and don't have others to consider), I'm at an age that doesn't weather radical shifts as easily and I'm looking at the horizon, at the sun, and wondering what will come next.
I'm considering taking a quicky certification course in teaching English and returning to Mexico, writing there, but could I do that? Leave everyone and the culture I'm used to and plunge into the pool? I'm listening for the bird that guides...and reading this post, I'm wondering how close the water will be allowed to come before we see our respective paths...
Anyway, I'm feeling you. Really. In my gut.
Palabras por Changeseeker spat forth on el 27 de Mayo, 2007 at 09:01 AM
Pat Logan dijo:
I know the alternate universe well. It's a tempting place to live. :)
I hope this is a time of rest and renewal for you. It's easy to put out so much energy that none is left. Do what you need to do.
Palabras por Pat Logan spat forth on el 27 de Mayo, 2007 at 09:49 AM
RickB dijo:
Palabras por RickB spat forth on el 27 de Mayo, 2007 at 11:34 AM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
you people are fantastico. just a short note—i am working on a post—to say i am not stopping writing here. will explain further what i meant to be clearer, didnt mean to say that. graz for all the love.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 27 de Mayo, 2007 at 12:33 PM
Cero dijo:
Unsolicited opinion and advice: NY works because it is large enough to find something in. You need either a large city like that, or a place where cost of living is really low ... I didn't find Oregon to be that low cost, me.
Palabras por Cero spat forth on el 27 de Mayo, 2007 at 02:55 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
yes, you are right. these are conclusions that we actually came to almost verbatim when talking about How This Happened.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 27 de Mayo, 2007 at 02:58 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
Jena, I'm tempted to agree with you, not having enough to judge on, but having been around the US a little. The Costa Rica thing sounds very tempting. Yet, reading up on getting residency, it looks pretty based on work-visas in very certain areas. Waiting time, all that. Maybe not the best route with only thirty days to go. But I am definitely thinking in all directions. Thank you. And I very much appreciate all the sentiment, and good energy and thought.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 27 de Mayo, 2007 at 04:25 PM
K.VILLA dijo:
I work for a nonprofit so I know that doing what you love does not always pay the bills. I'm gonna make a donation of $50 as soon as I submit this comment. There's no cash amount that could reflect the satisfaction I get when I visit here but I want to support. Peace. -K.V.
Palabras por K.VILLA spat forth on el 27 de Mayo, 2007 at 09:40 PM
Jena dijo:
I totally relate to being broke, I've never had any money and if I did would be long gone from the US already. As it is all I have are my elderly parents and when they pass I plan to leave however I can.
But can you imagine, someplace that puts money twd teaching its people to read and relate rather than brainwashing people to believe bullets and new trucks bring solutions? I know, me neitha! But they're still out there. It doesn't have to be CR, there's Iceland, the Scandi countries, and still some of Europe, who have some ethics about how their cultures treat their people and what kind of society they want to be (altho the recent French elections are troubling)
I think how a place treats its artists and intellectuals is a good barometer for its allover sanity and health. The thinkers and creaters are what make us humane. It sure ain't the profit margins or the politicals. And I don't see a lot of future in the US for people who want to create, art or otherwise.
We all know how the right wingers respond, that love it or leave it shit, but when you take away the artists and intellectuals, whaddya got left? Orcses. Tolkien was right. The US has wasted so much time and space. We as individuals cannot let ourselves be subsumed in it or we'll lose our souls.
When I get some scratch I'll buy something from your tienda Nez ;)
Palabras por Jena spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 09:46 AM
Lorna Dee Cervantes dijo:
Beautiful post. I know when the book comes out it will be worth it. Your words are like the light shining on those trees.
Palabras por Lorna Dee Cervantes spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 12:21 PM
brownfemipower dijo:
as somebody who is in the midst of her own never ending money problems--much love.
xo
Palabras por brownfemipower spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 12:31 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
thank you, bfp. friendship means a lot in tight times.
it goan be all right...
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 12:34 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
Thank you, Lorna Dee! I could not ask for more to lift my spirits than those words coming from you.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 12:57 PM
Trin dijo:
yikes. i miss reading your blog for a couple of days and THIS. sheeeee-it.
*abrazos muy fuertes*
damn. i'm sorry to hear this Nez.
Palabras por Trin spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 01:27 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
gracias para los abrazos.
you know, it was pretty scary at first. but it's looking a little better. still not out of the woods yet. but i'm hopeful enough to think more of the benefit after the struggle. at least that's where i'm at right now!
thanks again.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 01:35 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
KVILLA: thank you! youre the best.
--
Jena, what great words and metaphors, too.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 04:09 PM
little light dijo:
Whatever you got to do to get your house in order, you know? You do the rest of us a lot of good, being here, but take a rest if you need to, and we'll try and carry it without you.
I went through some really bad times with money last year, and if it weren't for a couple of gracious loans from online people, I'd have just come apart. Doing much better now, and all, but the job market sucks hard out here.
Meantime, 'mano, if you're in the neighborhood I would love to take you out for dinner or whatever. We all gotta stick together.
Palabras por little light spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 07:09 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
thank you! that's pretty righteous of ya.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 07:20 PM
eric dijo:
sheeee-it, definitely. i am glad i had a big weekend with the family and am only now getting caught up, so i know already that this is not really the end.
Palabras por eric spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 08:24 PM
pigeon dijo:
so, you totally don't know me (i'm little light's girlfriend) but i know you live more or less in my neck of the woods--
i've been working in childcare for the last three years, mostly with infants and toddlers and if free childcare is something that would be of any use to you, i currently have an abundance of free time & really love kids.
i know it's sort of strange to get an offer of childcare from a total stranger, over the internet no less, but like i said, if that would be of any use to you, my email is included in the comment.
good luck to you & your family. espero que todo mejora pronto.
Palabras por pigeon spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 10:24 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
wow, thanks pigeon! i'd love for us to meet and see if you dig little 'nita, because it would really be great to even get one night without the baby. we've been here almost a year and gone out like once or twice. that's so kind of you. i'm really grateful for the offer.
gracias. estoy esperando, también.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 10:34 PM
pigeon dijo:
glad i can offer it. i really do love little'uns, so it's no hardship for me.
shoot me an email & we can work out a good time to meet. my schedule is super open, so i'm really flexible. i have a lot of friends with young kids (a lot of whom are single mamas to boot) so i know, at least vicariously, how nice it can be to get a little break.
Palabras por pigeon spat forth on el 28 de Mayo, 2007 at 11:00 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
okay, pigeon. will do when the time is right. thank you again, you've made a very kind offer. i'm not sure i'd want you to do it completely for free, but all of us can talk out all that stuff when the time comes, supongo. thanks again!
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 29 de Mayo, 2007 at 09:56 AM
magniloquence dijo:
*slips an envelope under the door*
If you ever find yourself in SoCal, I'll help however I can. *smiles*
Palabras por magniloquence spat forth on el 29 de Mayo, 2007 at 10:43 AM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
thank you so much magniloquence. i will let you know of course.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 29 de Mayo, 2007 at 10:46 AM
XP dijo:
It pains me to see you in this situation my dear friend. If I wasn't in the same situation 'mano I'd move heaven and earth to help you out. I too have been kicking myself and have asked myself similar type of questions. Each time the news comes regarding unemployment and how jobs are created, you cannot help but question your self worth. I have refused to let the system beat me, I am able to do this because of all the wonder friends I have made since I began blogging. Just know, you do not have to face this alone my friend. Paz
Palabras por XP spat forth on el 29 de Mayo, 2007 at 07:40 PM
nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez dijo:
right on, 'mano. i know just where you're comin from. it's cool. havin you around is always a boost. i be at ya place soon or maybe first thing in the morning, been busting my brains on graphic design, but you know i'm lucky to have the work. catch you soon, bro.
Palabras por nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez spat forth on el 29 de Mayo, 2007 at 07:51 PM