I don't trust that Rudy. I hope you keep your stash in a very safe place!

yes, i would not be wise to trust at this point. thanks for the reminder. i will. it's all we have now.

Praying that you get out of there. The comment by the mother in law ... well, it floored me. My mother in law is closer to me than my own mother so I've never been much for the joking. But that kind of comment is abominable.

/angry

So, I've been lurking for a while and not posting comments, mostly out of sheer mental tiredness and frustration. But about your whole situation... I have to say I feel you. Truly. I also trust people, despite all odds and despite the fact that trusting people has caused me the vast majority of all the problems that have messed up my life. I think it's because I am also very hopeful, in a really persistent way.
About the suegra, if she is anything like the suegras I know who are similar to your description of her, the only reason she is upset that you are leaving so soon is because now she won't be able to complain about you dilly-dallying around.
Also, I was a little (little) glad that you didn't get The Perfect House. Not because you don't deserve to get it, but because... Well, personally, I dislike perfection. Or at least, the appearance of perfection. But I guess maybe we all need a little "perfect" in our lives. hahaha that is so cheesy...

Oh, and one last thing... you have some serious stylesheet skills. I am in awe.

Eurgh. That's... I hope you get out of there quickly and smoothly.

I've done the 'looking for a place' dance, and it's tiring. Especially when you find out that, whoops! one of you had no credit score, and neither of you were aware of it, because of stupid family things.

Ahem.

I'm sure you'll find someplace, and I dearly hope that it is a good place for you.

ah, if only she were joking, pat. that was a serious comment she made.

amanda, thank you for your words.

she is worried i/we will cut her off from the baby. i am not in any doubt over this, from what i know and have seen and heard already.

thank you for the support, for riding along here. it's good to hear from ya.

the stylesheet thing sure took some energy, that's for sure!

yeah...in this case neither of us have a good credit report. eh.

thanks, i hope we do. because i really dont feel up to this much longer. and that's as softly as i can put it.

I meant all the mother in law jokes.

I know she wasn't joking, that's why the anger.

And, as one of the late payers, yeah, there's an excuse (and a good one), but then, I can't make demands for something I haven't done. Keep plugging away on the apt. hunt. I've made that mistake of moving into the first one I've found, and THEN discovering the drawbacks later (bad heaters, or psycho neighbors from Hell or..., or -- my favorite -- all the electrical switches were wired backwards!)

ah, i get you pat. i appreciate your heart on this.

don't worry, richard. we'll fix you up nice. shoot the cash over when you can. we'll make it all happen.

Nez, I'm sending all of my love to you right now. I wish I could send more, and the moment I can I will. Hang in there, my brotha. You'll get out of all of this soon enough.

I'd look out for her selling the stuff on ebay, blaming you then pocketing the cash and running off with a neighbour.
Or...
she hates all their stuff and was subtly trying to get you to relieve her of it- Don't take any of our stuff *wink*-

It's a horrible slight (and always awful when you discover someone harbours a much colder/lower/spiteful opinion of you) perhaps her son has taught her to mistrust those closest although she wouldn't admit that (not least to herself). Lots of things don't grow well if they are too closely planted together, given space healthier things may grow, healthier m-in-laws. That right place is just around the corner, by friday you'll be sorted, success is unavoidable, inevitable, you couldn't stop it if you tried!

Thank you reed, you taught me how to bend.

Thank you wolf, you taught me how to bite.

The perfect house right now is any one but the one you are in now.

I just wanted to say your situation is in my thoughts. Living in a daily state of tense family-related icky-ness should be a form of psychological torture.

RC, i just realized today what you said. it's true. we've adjusted our sights accordingly.

--

Laura, thankyou. and i think it is a form of torture. but i'm hoping at the very end.

I'm glad you're finding a little solace. You'll get out soon; I'm keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. :)

Get more sleep. ;-p

not much time for sleep. i get a little. it seems enough usually. except when peeps wake me up early.

thanks!

It's hard to believe anyone can be that lame to anybody else, the "don't take any of our stuff," b.s., and harder still to think of someone meaning it when talking to you in particular. And, I say this not in a bleeding heart way towards her but just as inescapable fact - your mother in law has ripped herself off in such a sorrowful way by missing out on the chance to have someone like you in her life, as a son in law or anything else.

I will keep a good thought for you guys to get a place that feels magical to you, ASAP, not just a place that feels like a bandaid in desperate times. You deserve that.

A bandaid can be pretty welcome while you get to that magical place, and the relief of the familial tension will free up large amounts of energy to apply to positive motion rather than holding your breath.
I have been through very similar events, once, 28 years ago, and I would never allow myself to be in that position again. In fact, as soon as I discovered the dynamic, I left, before the first sunset I was already in the van and driving away with the family, although we had nowhere to go and where we ended up was of course not more than a bandaid, but it prevented other pain. We did not really arrive at a magical place until two years later after many other tries, but we did arrive.
We also refused to ever stay where we were not at ease.
The world is a very big place, with infinite possibilities, but the life is all too short and one must not waste it on confused family or {see other post}abusive blog readers.
Excelsior!
I hope very much that you get a vehicle soon and get free of the confusion.

Kevin, thank you man. That means a lot.

great quote rick B. it reminds me of a song i wrote in 92, actually. same premise.

RC - I agree with everything you said, I meant that I hoped they would have great luck with the very next place they land, not that I would want anyone to stay some place awful until they found a perfect other place. (And glad you said all that about it.)

Nez:

I haven't been in an apartment of my own for, lemme see now, about 18 years--wow. I've been living without seeing all of my splendid shit in one place since 1992.

I wish I knew why. I mean, I know the numbers end of things, but that's not the explanation. I have lived in some pretty good situations, but there has always been an undercurrent of anxiety because I'm not in my own house. Not that I ever owned one. The place I live now is in a nice country setting (a lot of poor, white folks; plenty of bigotry--as you would expect--and the right wing engendered fear of having people like you stealing their jobs. That argument lacks much force, since they all say sortabrowns are too lazy to hold jobs. The guy who owns the house is a hunter, smoker, drinker for obliviousness, probably depressed and yet a decent guy. I'm sure I make him at least as crazy as he makes me.

I thought in moving to NY that I would finally be able to buy a house and do what I've wanted to do for many years, make it mine and be able to close the world out when I wanted to. I love the world, but sometimes it wears me down. But I don't got no esposa and no ninos/ninas so whatever kind of shit I wind up in, it's only me I gotta worry about. You have my prayers and best wishes. I will visualize a house warming.

Ciao

I also "can't believe" the thing about the mother in law. What she must be like, herself! I mean, I guess she isn't a good housesitting candidate, she'll steal your stuff! This having been said, I once had someone say "Well, don't take the cats to be euthanized." Lord.