Delurking. Thanks for the audio. Your control is amazing. To express such rage and hold the tension of it is very very hard to do. The line 'the flitting and flipping and a slipping into a lonely cramp" grabbed me hard. Bravo. I can say no more. I must listen again and again.

thank you, rhondda. i do appreciate that.

Wow. It is definitely much more powerful in audio... Reading it, I would have gone through it much faster and in a louder voice and with a different rhythm and different emphasis on certain words, and of course it's much better the way you read it because that's the way it was meant to be.

At first when the audio started I turned the volume up because it's in a hushed tone, but it is completely right for the poem.

I especially love the line, "this home where hate sleeps sound and i lie awake listening for an old door to groan open" because it can be interpreted in so many different ways.

ah...thanks so much amanda. i guess i really should read them all aloud, then.

yes, thanks so much for your words and taking the time. i can really appreciate your thoughts on the quoted line.

Nez, dude, seriously. This is fucking amazing. Like Rhonda says, your control is perfect. I've been interested in spoken poetry for some time now (I've been tossing around the idea of writing my dissertation on it, in fact), so I'm going to refrain from saying too much here for fear of getting a tad too obscurely academic on you. But Damn!

Phrasing: on point.
Tone: on point.

And maybe it's just me, but reading the poem while listening to you is pure bliss. It all comes together so perfectly.

kevin, i really appreciate that man, especially considering both your interest and knowledge on the subject, truly. thank you.

Well, I'm biased 'cause I love your voice. You could've been reading a McDonald's menu and received this comment.

On my read of the poem, I did enjoy the cadence of it, and you accentuated it with the calm steadiness of your recitation. You are very good with wordplay, and it brings sensation out in your writing.

But bias was powerful, my brother. I will probably have to listen again.

this bias of yours is not one i'll complain of, hermana! thank you for your words.

gazing upon tall, black, bent-lipped boots propped up in the center of the livingroom

That's a dynamite bit for me, I can see the boots and you hit your stride (no pun) there. There's something about boots, they claim ground, invade it. Then the hard punch of your daughter dancing to an awful nazi song. If anything I would accentuate the dynamics more. Breathe deeper and let the slow burn flow.

thanks RickB. what a great narrative point about boots, its just what you'd hear in one of my classes in film school. i hit a stride there. on purpose. i mean...not all parts should sound like that. then, it be flatline. the reason that part hits smacky hard is because of what precedes and what comes after.

on the advide/feedback at the end...i think i disagree. honestly, i dont know what "accentuate the dynamics" means! not one bit, actually! i let it flow as i felt it, as it rested in my body. any more accentuation would have been phony. to my way of seeing it, of course. tho i am curious as to how it sounded when you redid it in your mind. that might be interesting to hear!

i do appreciate very much the time taken and interest shown, my friend.

I just meant the quiet, quieter. Pauses erm, pausier (which really should be a word). loud, louder. But as you point out that does often end up in phony territory, it certainly didn't sound phony, I just wanted...more.
(old joke- there are THREE rules of showbiz.
ONE. Smile!
TWO. Always leave your audience wanting more.)

In my mind I sort of did a whole mis-en-scene (ooh it's gettin' all film schooly now!) an act of justified menace, a campfire in a black desert night, recited at the periphery of the light from the flames with great deliberation. It would feel like the last act of a story that is hinted at in the poem, but that story is for everyone to decide upon themselves...

[In the UK skinhead's boots got called bovver boots, as we politely euphemised the potential of their use in kicking people into unconsciousness into 'causing a bit of bother'. I don't know if they get called that in the US too.]

Peace and Goodnight (well 4 in the morning here) my friend. Thank you for giving of your work, it is inspiring.

Damn. Wow.

interesting little film there, RIckB! thanks man.

"I ask, please, in this case—in these cases of spoken poetry—that comments focus on the poem (the use of language, the use of voice, the content of the poem as a poem)"

I just can't. I am crying.

i appreciate your heart, carmen. what a beautiful heart you have. thank you.

Powerful words. This is one of those poems I'm going to go back and read many more times so it really sinks in. And your voice, the way you form the syllables, is beautiful.

thank you, midgetqueen. i'm so glad you get this out of the reading.