Wayne Mayo today asked the commissioners of Columbia County, in northwest Oregon, to declare the county free of "illegal workers."

—Making an Oregon county free of 'illegal workers', Immigration Blog, statesmanjournal.com

Not so unreasonable, eh? Why not? Sort of like declaring a glass of juice "water- free," right? So who is this reasonable citizen?

Wayne Mayo is the local construction contractor who wrote a letter to the editor last week on illegal immigration. He outlined a proposed ordinance to have sheriff's deputies run Social Security checks on construction crews. He also wants fines for landlords who rent to undocumented workers and a complaint line for citizens to name immigrants suspected of being in the country illegally.

—Residents Of St Helens Debate Immigrant Ordinance, publicbroadcasting.net

Hmmm. A complaint line. For citizens to turn in those people they suspect of being in the country illegally. Damn, that sounds familiar. Must be a trend in this new age of Freedom. However, I'd be VERY interested to hear what these citizens are going to base their suspicions on. Don't worry, though! This is not about the color of anyone's skin, or the accent they have, a "foreign" sounding name, or anything like that! The reasonable W. Mayo assures us of this:

Wayne Mayo: "Those signs would say that Columbia County is a county ruled by the rule of law, that we simply want people to be here legally. We're not opposed to the color of their skin. We're not opposed to their ethnic background, to their country of origin. What we want is the proper paperwork in place."

—Residents Of St Helens Debate Immigrant Ordinance, publicbroadcasting.net

Oh, our dear, naive Wayne Mayo. Still believing he lives in a "land of laws." It's sweet, no? He's just so damn idealistic and trusting...and egalitarian! Because he's not opposed to anyone's ethnic background! No, no no! However, he's not that trusting. He'll need to see your paperz, bitte.

Let's peruse the reasonable Wayne Mayo's letter to the Columbia County Board Of Commissioners.

Respectfully Submitted to the Columbia County Board Of Commissioners 7/18/07 By Wayne Mayo. Father, Resident, US Citizen.

I’m asking the Columbia County Board of Commissioners to declare Columbia County a “Illegal Worker Free County”. I’d like you to consider new rules and statutes penalizing contractors and employers who employ illegals and enable this current circumstance.

If they come into the USA with proper paper work from the US Government it means something reasonable:

1. They have no criminal background.

A. They have no drug history.

B. They have no kidnapping history.

C. They have no history of murder.

D. They have no history of sexual child abuse.

E. They have no history of theft or prostitution.

2. They are appraised of our insurance requirements on cars and trucks.

3. They are told that if they are caught doing crime in the USA, they will be deported and will not be allowed back in.

4. They are encouraged to obey our laws and customs while they are our guests.

5. They are positively identified and are authorized by the US Government to be here.

—Making an Oregon county free of 'illegal workers', Immigration Blog, statesmanjournal.com

Firstly, I hate to break it to our law-loving Mister Mayo, but nothing of the sort would be guaranteed by having "proper papers." And this is sort of funny, when you consider that part of Mister Mayo's plan is to "have sheriff's deputies run Social Security checks on construction crews."

Because "No drug history"??? Have you ever worked construction? I have. In fact, I started working construction at 15 years old, when I left my parents house and quit high school. Let me tell you something about construction. It sucks. And there's a reason that a good amount of construction workers are drinkers or drug users. And "criminal background"? "Obey our laws"? What a joke. I won't go into it too much, but let me just say that when I was a roofer at 27, one of my favorite bosses (just because he was a fun and cool cat) was a (white) heroin addict who got high right on the roof. A co-worker on the same crew was a crack user (a white, rednecky crack user, so ditch the stereotype, in fact 98% of these crews were white, to my memory), and we ALL busted out the herb and the six packs when the sun started getting lower. (And yeah, we did damn good roofing jobs, too.) I've been more trashed on your roof than some people get at a bar. And I could still carry an 85 pound of felt roll over one shoulder up a rickety two-story ladder. This may not be every single roofing crew or carpentry crew, but I've known a few from country to city, and I'd say a strong belief and love of the laws that keep the power structure in place is not an inherent part of most construction crews. Sorry to shatter the myth, Wayne.

So I'm not sure what Mister Mayo's incentive to harass construction workers would accomplish except a lot of construction slowing down or not getting done.

Second of all, what is this disgusting implication that Migrant Homelanders (you are free to call them "illegals" if you want to be part of the sicko's hype) are—unless certified by our upstanding po-po—child molesters, murderers, thieves and prostitutes? What a depraved mind in this "Father, Resident, US Citizen"! What a twisted, perverted, hateful "Father, Resident, US Citizen." Don't get me started on la chota and their sparkling histories. So what the fuck are they going to certify? (And while you're at it, Wayne, remember to phone the police and report the entire state of Nevada!)

Ah, yes. The stink of shredded hypocrisy and hate in the morning. Smells like...sanity. And because this blast of righteous anger has cleared my mind, I feel the need to muck it up again, so let's delve back into the murky, septic thought process of Mister Mayo:

Right now illegal entrants meet none of these requirements. We keep track of child molesters. But we have no idea about the illegal no accounts among us.

Things would really get freaky if Mexican immigrants began becoming priests, eh? I bet in Wayne's World (whoa), this is why the clergy has, over time, been exposed to harbor so many child rapists! A simple answer. Yes, the clergy is full of illegals who keep hidden episodes of the teletubbies underneath their robes and long to lay down corn-flavored wafers on the tongues of prostitutes while drinkin' Mad Dog at the local playground. Órale!

Unemployment in Oregon is higher than the national average. Unemployment in Columbia County according to the figures released at the end of June 07 are higher than the state average. Our youth need jobs besides flipping tacos or salting French fries. They need productive constructive opportunity that is being denied them by an influx of illegal workers working perhaps even off the books. This is wrong.

Wayne eats some weird version of Mexican food, that's all I can say. Because try as I might, I just can't remember the last time I flipped a taco. And Wacko Wayne ought not insult the Fry Salter's Union. That's a dangerous move. You might find yourself buried under a few tons of cold, unsalted curly fries. Yuk.

But on "productive constructive opportunity that is being denied them by an influx of illegal workers working perhaps even off the books," I'll say two things. Firstly, having spent many years in construction, I'll be the first to shatter Mister "Way-out there" Mayo's illusions. People who work construction jobs almost always work off the books. Sorry, my friend. That's how it goes. When you are busting your bones every day of the week (and maybe once in a while you take a Sunday off) and you are making nicey-nice homes for people with plush rugs, new cars, and snazzy manicures, you are fully aware that you are not dancing on the upper crust of the pie. You are quite aware that you are at the base of the pyramid. Construction workers may often be uneducated, but they are not dumb. And you do what you can to even it out. I won't even tell you what some of those things are. You'll just have to go work construction for a year or five.

I’m asking the Columbia County Board of Commissioners to declare Columbia County an “Illegal Worker Free County”. I’d like you to consider new rules and statutes penalizing contractors and employers who employ illegals enabling this current circumstance and ignored the I9 requirements.

I would like to see you direct the Sheriff’s department to do Social Security number checks with the special line set up by the SS to see if workers are valid. If one on even a subcontracting crew is found to be without the proper paperwork, the building permit on that house and all the others he may have worked on goes up $15000/house. This money should be dedicated to the Sheriff’s Department for enforcement. Stop work orders can be issued until assurances are made that only legal aliens and American citizens are working on the project.

This can be extended to landlords through Landlord licensing and penalties. Other employer business license’s can be suspended along with punitive charges attached to the redemption of the license.

A phoned in citizens complaint should start the process.

I have no problem with any color or nationality as long as they have the United State’s formal approval to be here.

With so many enemies declaring hatred for the USA from without, it makes no sense to allow them havens within. This is a matter of national security.

—Making an Oregon county free of 'illegal workers', Immigration Blog, statesmanjournal.com

Was Timothy McVeigh properly papered? What about those 19 SAUDIS who supposedly piloted the planes that crashed into the WTC (and since have been morphed into Afghanis and Iraqis)? Did they have papers? What about the Sears Tower 7? What about all the underreported 'terror' incidents that have taken place since 9/11? (Underreported of course, because they were carried out by white men.) What did having proper papers do to prevent their desire to harm the U.S.A.? What about you, Wayne? The measures you propose seem pretty hostile to the "America" I was always taught about in school. Then again, most of that turned out to be propaganda, anyway, when it came to practical experience.

And one more thing. I know you are upset about "the youth" that are "being denied" "productive constructive opportunity" because the "illegals" are "working off the books" and preventing the young Fry Salting Taco Flippers from moving on up into the shadowy land of Jobs For Illegulz. Let's review one of the largest job markets that actively recruits and employs these American-Destroying Illegals:

Bowe describes the daily cattle-like living condition of the migrant workers who suffer from involuntary servitude and constant threats. To earn enough wages for food and lodging, laborers must literally pick tons of fruits daily and work almost seven days a week. Bowe shows how farm owners prevent workers from changing their jobs by blocking their escape route or even threatening them with death. The workplace is transformed into a living hell, severely violating human rights and depriving workers of their freedom. Migrant workers have been held in permanent captivity."

Food for Thought [pdf], Shuo Han, ocw.mit.edu

So Wayne, if you care about people and about this nation as much as you pretend to, why don't you put some energy toward making sure humans aren't being treated worse than your burgers. Hey, how are you likin' those burgers, by the way? How you likin' your fast food, friend? Don't forget to give thanks. And I don't mean to Gawd.

Yawn. One more American Fear Zombie, propaganda chuckin' his yip yap yaw and ignorance and fear chatterin' wide his well-oiled jaw, fear propelling his limbs and stupidity radiating his agitated pall.

Listen. I have no problem with a person's skin color or ethnic background, as long as they can think clearly, and aren't spending their time instigating hate, fear, and ignorance. Sorry to say, hold the Mayo. I think the man has done flipped his taco.