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24 de Septiembre, 2007

Lying in Wait

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I THINK I'VE TOLD YOU about my bone spur. (Great pickup line, by the way.) A bone spur is a fragment of bone outgrowth in an odd place, or a calcium growth on a bone. And I have one on my left fingertip, or rather the corner...that is, it is at an angle. You can't see anything out of the ordinary. But if I hit my fingertip or bang it—even lightly—in just the right spot, I get a HUGE jolt of acute pain, as if someone is stabbing me in the finger with a needle. But from the inside out. Usually it flares up big enough to make me scream aloud...and then, oddly, fades relatively quickly. There is no other event or instance I can think of that brings such a disproportionate pairing of a high level of pain and a lack of injury or healing time. I'd think of surgery for it, but I read that they usually come back.

But man. This is not the week for my left hand! I jammed something into it about an hour or so ago, and the pain was so bad it clung to my hand like spiders made of fire. I'd say "blinding" is a fair adjective. It hurt so much I immediately crushed up two Advil and swallowed them. Because it wouldn't fade, like normally. I actually began to worry it wouldn't. I should have crushed four Advils. But they didn't seem to do a damn thing. Finally, it seems to be leaving. But my god. That was the worst I've ever felt it. I couldn't concentrate on much for the longest time. At least an hour slipped away from me. I was walking around the house trying to ice it, trying to shake it, trying to keep it still...everything made it feel worse, and it's funny how intense pain can rob the entire world of any light while you're in it. Everything begins to look ugly, nothing feels good.

It's time like this I think of those who live with chronic pain. Those moments are good for one thing. Restoring my gratitude. Again, more perspective. I have a built-in gratitude-maker in my finger. (Yet another good pickup line.)

 The Unapologetic Mexican has been known to scribble a few things besides meandering, verbose, self-congratulatory blog posts. However, they are rarely as fun. Finally, let it be known that Nezua first dared bust out this Habanero of Truth at exactly 3:09 PM.  | Top | View blog reactions

Comentarios (6)

Theriomorph dijo:

I have a built-in gratitude-maker in my finger. (Yet another good pickup line.)

ha ha ha ha - Do I know you well enough yet to say: 'I just bet you do, Nez' ? :)

Seriously, I'm sorry it hurts. I have a bunch of bone shards from a shattered elbow free-floating in there, fully prepared at all times to start tearing things up. Mostly they're fine, but when they're not, oof. When I started studying jujitsu (all skeletal/joint exploitation) in addition to karate (more linear, not as aggravating), I quickly got to the point of crazy pain even turning a doorknob; and yeah, got a real lesson in gratitude for my (usually) painless mobility. One good recent back injury, too, and an even bigger, longer lasting lesson.

I am reminded more and more, especially as I age and whatever injuries accrue, of gratitude for my body's particular capacities. And reminded, sometimes grudgingly, to take good care of it.

Not giving up coffee, though.

Palabras por Theriomorph spat forth on el 24 de Septiembre, 2007 at 04:06 PM

M dijo:

I have a built-in gratitude-maker in my finger.

Not if someone pulls it. (Ooh, burn)

Even if you don't take the surgical route, you should get that checked out to see if there's anything you can do to reduce the pain. That sounds brutal.

Palabras por M spat forth on el 24 de Septiembre, 2007 at 04:11 PM